we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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