Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
