omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
