But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
