Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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