he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
