hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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