the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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