ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize