Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
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so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
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Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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