This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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