U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize