We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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