i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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