the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
