im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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