So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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