i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
