So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
where are you?
Hypothermia
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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