I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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