Betty ford says i'm here all night
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
