You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
