Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
