I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
