i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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