the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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