Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
