I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
