is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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