I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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