No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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