How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
