Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
