so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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