if i can run in heels then i can drive
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
