So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
