sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother