you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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