So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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