i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.