It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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