I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize