Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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