She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i believe in u and ur pee
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