I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
