you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So vagazzling was a success
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
