Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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