She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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