In the future we'll all be gay
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
