i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
