Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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