I'm drive I can fine osifer
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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