Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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