I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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