I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
